Our loss happened in February 2014. We had been married only for a few months when we found we had gotten pregnant while using birth control. I went in to the doctor for some unusual symptoms and they decided that I should go on hormone therapy. Too much information? I think not. They had to run a pregnancy test and so I willingly supplied a blood sample without another thought.
I received a phone call from my nurse practitioner, Jen, who was very kind but very firm. “Your pregnancy results are positive and we need to have you in immediately to remove your IUD.” If you are unfamiliar with what that is… you could look it up here but that might be too much info. Your choice, don’t say I did’t warn you. One IUD removal, and an ultrasound later we were on the path to parenthood. Jen warned us that there was a 60% chance of losing the baby but we were full steam ahead.
After a few days of praying for our little one’s survival, I was certain that I was miscarrying. Something I learned in the process is that every miscarriage is a loss. No matter how small, no matter how long you know about it. Our lives are very fragile and very special. We are so thankful that our Lord would bless us with the experience of loving someone so small you wouldn’t be able to see her with your bare eyes.
It is this loss that has completely changed our lives.
It was this loss, that challenged all of my instincts to plan and follow my own path towards security and stability.
3 thoughts on “The Loss”
Oh I am so sorry for your loss. It truly is a loss and as someone who’s had multiple chemical pregnancies (positive test and then loss that same day), i can say it’s a loss. I used to think of each one as different. As I never had an ultrasound and only had a day or hour to grapple with pregnancy (granted we’ve been trying for 4 years). But a friend who had a miscarriage at 11 weeks once told me that a loss is a loss. No matter how far along. And it’s true. Thank you so much for seeing and understanding that. I am so sorry for your pain. I’ll be praying for you guys. (Oh and Joni sent me to your blog).
Megan! Thank you so much for reaching out and sharing your story! It means so much that there is a community of women who are able to be transparent and support each other.