When we grow up, we think several things about our parents. Either they treated us well and are giants in our eyes, unbelievable in their unending love and devotion; who can do no wrong; who behave perfectly in our eyes. Or they treated us badly and are never capable of good; who have no love for us and are demons in our eyes. Hopefully, I pray, that as you think of the way you see your own parents, its in first light. They are both faulty ways of understanding the people who gave birth and raised us.
You see, Nick and I are continually trying to decompress from interactions with our parents. Sometimes it seems as though we demand perfection from them. Nick recently told his mom that he didn’t know if he should believe when she said she was “alright”. She told him that was something he needed to work on. And I think she was right. Because of how immortalized Nick’s parents are in my husband’s memory, he is unable to accept their humanity. If Nick (or myself, or anyone for that matter) feels something is not perfect within our parents we must seek it out and try to control. This is disconcerting.
This is a short post and really has a tiny thing to say. I am musing on how to accept my parent’s humanity for all their shortcomings and when all things are not perfect. I am trying to learn how to let it go when all is not right. They deserve that from me. I’m not perfect either.